Dear Mary Angel,

I never would have thought some twenty-five years ago that I would be where I am now. But this is not a unique observation to make; many I'm sure can and do say the same. Here I am in my office. MY office... a long way from that first letter I wrote you more than eleven years ago. My office. I'm sitting here, done with what was on my plate, and spending the last remaining moments tweaking this blog.

Twenty-five years ago I worked a few short weeks at Wendy's, the job you got for me. There I was doing every crap job some assistant manager gleefully threw my way-- the one who himself had a crush on you --and doing it because I wanted to be someone you wanted to be with. Not because I enjoyed the job. Washing dishes and breading chicken breasts? I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life accept make you smile... and get drunk... and get high. I was a mess but you saw something in me worth rescuing. Or did you? --I looked in the mirror then and saw a face that was not unattractive. I still see such a face, though somewhat careworn; the years have been kind to me in some respect, but I wonder what it was you saw.

I was miserable just a short eleven years ago. I hated where I was and who I had become. I'm still not entirely happy about who I am but I've come to terms with a number of things, not the least of which is where I now find myself.

It took ten years to get from master control operator to creative services. The pay is not fantastic, but it's not far from where I was when the lights went out at the restaurant. I have a lot of things, but what I want the most still eludes me. When I could really have found a lasting love, I ran from it. Now I find myself wanting such a love, but it might as well be the end of the rainbow for its elusiveness. What I wouldn't give for another Mary Angel to enter my life! I would not run away. I swear.

Now I build online advertising and web pages for a local television station. Soon I'll be out taping and editing commercials. From there, there are any number of opportunities the kind of skills I'll have will open for me. And while that should be enough to make anyone happy... none of this changes where I currently find myself.

Still single.

I want someone like you. I don't think that's too much to ask. Someone vibrant and filled with light. Someone I can share my heart with.... someone with whom I can share my poetry; that's the big test for me.


Well, enough for now.

Take care, and my you have a blessed and happy new year.


With all my love,

Eric

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